An Awakening

I was commuting to work this morning when a sudden urge to pray overtook me. I began to pray for my son and my husband. Outside of growing my own relationship with God, I care deeply how each of them grow in Christ as well. My prayer was simple: Lord, reveal yourself to each of them, so they will draw closer to you. After I dwelled on that for a moment, I decided it wasn't selfish to request the same for myself. I asked God to reveal himself to me, as well.

I was driving through thick, rolling fog and as I looked up, I saw the fog slowly dissolving in the morning sun. A break in the white clouds revealed a calm, lush tree line topping a nearby hill. It was a beautiful contrast between the deep greens of the trees and the silvery white of the fog. God had answered my prayer.

You see, I went to work early today. I knew when I left work on Friday that Monday was going to be a long, hard day. I went about my morning routine preparing myself for mishaps and thwarted projects. Without realizing it, I was actually setting myself up to have a pessimistic day! But in a single moment, God gave me a scene of complete peace and tranquility in that hillside.

I began to smile as I looked forward to the day instead of dreading it. After all, it was only one day, and that one day put me that much closer to eternity with God. Every time my day took a sour turn, I pictured that tree line and the rolling fog. It kept me calm all day. (Its amazing how God works like that).

I found a verse that really put it into perspective for me. Romans 8:18 says, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed to us." God has given us a light at the end of the tunnel. We, as Christians, are certain of greater, glorious times we will spend with God. We can take joy in that! The things of this life are trivial in the scope of things. It is hard to remember that in the middle of a major earthly trial, but when we focus on God, he will remind us of that when we need it.

Lord, thank you for revealing yourself to me. Thank you for always knowing my needs even before I do. Give me the knowledge to reveal you to others, Lord, so that my life, through you, an serve a greater cause. Lord, being at peace today made a world of difference in my joy and my mentality. I want that for others. Thank you for that hope and grace that lead to everlasting peace and life. Amen.

A Revelation

I always find myself amazed at the works God does in my life. I recently had to face a very difficult part of my past that is hard for me to deal with. I have fought forgiveness and it has stalled me from moving on with my own life in some capacity. After some wise guidance from some dear friends, I've turned once again to God's word for some answers. And that, of course, is where I find myself amazed.

As a young adult, I still sometimes pride myself on being a know-it-all. (Take a moment to look at the key words in that sentence that immediately prove my downfall: pride and know-it-all). While I freely accept that God is all-knowing and can make anything possible, it is like I learned that for the first time last night when I read a passage out of Ephesians.

Ephesians 3:17-21 says, "¹⁷So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,¹⁹and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. ²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

I want to hit on some key points in that passage that led to my "revelation." First, when I chose to commit my life to Christ, I was enveloped in a love that I can't possibly comprehend or understand, but it is there all the less. This love serves multiple purposes, but some are to fill voids that life leaves, give us the capacity to love others and to share that love unconditionally ourselves. When we utilize this love, it gives us that fullness (which, again, rids us of voids or disappointments because God never disappoints). Now sometimes it is easy to say someone is unlovable or doesn't deserve the time of day, much less forgiveness, mercy, etc. This is where the ability comes into play. When we say we can't love or forgive (or bear the other spiritual fruits) God can. By realizing we need God's help to do these things, we turn to him and he gives us that ability. In an odd sense, it is almost like realizing and admitting our own faults and shortcomings (as we are only human) before we can see to get past the faults and shortcomings of others.

I am sure there are a thousand messages you can take away from this passage, as it is so filled with God, but on this particular night, this is what I needed to know, so this is what God revealed. Thank God that He always knows what I need, even before I ask. And while this didn't solve my issue that I'm faced with, it has given me a great boost to getting where I need to be.

Lord, thank you SO MUCH for always giving me the guidance I need through your word and my brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers in Christ. Each is a blessing I don't deserve, but I'll take them any day of the week. I know I don't always make the right choices, but I know I can always find my way back to the right path through you. Thank you, God, for giving me a second chance through your son and teaching me how to give second chances as well. Amen.

Lions

I received an award at my new job last week. I am very proud of it, but it is a bittersweet thing. You see, I was given the award to "Most likely to 'dive in head first into the lions den.'" I take that as a great compliment because it means I'm doing a great job and I'm fearless at overcoming my tasks.

But the compliment made me think of the Biblical Lion's Den and Daniel. The story is about how some close to the king wanted to get rid of Daniel, so they convinced the king to decree that no one could pray to anyone or anything other than the King for 30 days. Well, Daniel prayed three times daily. The punishment was to be thrown into the lion's den. He was thrown in because he was following God.

I was given a cliche parallel compliment that put me at Daniel's level. I didn't deserve it. I don't do half as much as I should when it comes to following God. The verse that really got to me was this: Daniel 6:22, "My God hath sent his angel, and hath shut the lions' mouths, that they have not hurt me: forasmuch as before him innocency was found in me; and also before thee, O king, have I done no hurt."

I am ashamed because I'd probably be eaten. Would I be found innocent? Do I do enough for God? No. I find myself weak in discipline. I am easily distracted by the material things of this world. I don't do enough.

Now, please don't take this as to mean I'm doomed. I know Jesus lives in my heart and I'll spend eternity with him. I won't lose the gift of eternal life because of my lack of focus. I just lose some of my self respect. I know I'm capable of doing so much more. I have a desire to witness and share my good fortune (grace, and a relationship with Jesus) with others, I just let my worldly desires overcome it.

Here is my prayer: Oh God, give me tunnel vision. I want to only have eyes for you. Give me the chance to share my special love and relationship that I have in you with others. I want to dive into the lion's den, because that means I'm willing to give up everything for you. I am willing to give up everything for you. I love you, God. I want to make you proud. Forgive me for my laziness and lack of discipline. Make me stronger in you. I love you. Amen.

Daniel 6: 27, "He delivereth and rescueth, and he worketh signs and wonders in heaven and in earth, who hath delivered Daniel from the power of the lions."

Focusing Life

I have some confessing to do. While I usually confess in the privacy of silent prayers, I feel the need to be held accountable to anyone who reads this, especially my husband and God. I am a selfish person. I've been selfish for a long time, but it has finally caught up with me and I feel like it slapped me across the face today. I have just made several great accomplishments in my life. I officially graduate college next Friday, and I've landed my first job in the career world. I feel alive with success, and I'm very proud of myself. But it doesn't stop there. I have felt the thrill of success and personal accomplishment, and it has blinded me to what is most important in my life: my relationships. A diploma is great, but at the end of the day, it is still a piece of paper. While I have zeroed in on the things I want out of life, I have lost focus of my real purpose. I am not listening to God for direction. I have found a power trip on my own success in choices and I've forgotten to be obedient. For that I am so sorry. 

I've also gotten away from my relationship with my husband. I've always said I wouldn't be the partner in a relationship that meekly follows behind the other. I have always wanted to walk side-by-side with my spouse. Yet, I have drug my husband through all of my desires, caring nothing for his own. I do not want to do things his way. I'd like to say I'm not being the submissive wife, but it goes deeper than that. I wanted to rule the house. I'm not an extreme feminist or a prudent housewife. I'm just me. I have come to realize that I don't want to lead or follow. I want to journey through my life with my husband, holding hands. 

That goes for my relationship with God as well. I don't want to store him in my purse until I need him. To be truthful, I need him every day. 

My world is changing, because I've made a decision tonight. I don't want control of my life, because I feel like I'm missing all of the important things. By giving my life to God and being obedient to his will, I know I'll never miss the important things. I also know he can deepen the enjoyment and love in a marriage better than anyone. 

I can't help but think about how twelve men dropped their entire lives to follow Jesus. I know you can say that Jesus stood right there in front of them and called them to do so, but isn't Jesus standing in front of you now? Can you honestly say you don't feel him tugging at your heart? That is him asking you to take his hand. He wants to walk with you every day. Reach out to him.

Lord, forgive me for focusing myself on me and not the things that are important in life. Help me stick to my decision to refocus my life and show obedience and submission in the areas of my life that need it. I love you, and thank you for loving me even when I'm unlovable. Amen.

It's been a while since I've posted. I get caught up in the world sometimes. There have been a lot of things I've contemplated lately that make me ask myself if I am a poser. What I mean is, how connected to God am I? I find myself worrying about being a name-dropper. I first heard this term while watching a celebrity news channel. It was defined as a person who brags about famous friends to make themselves look better. 

My worry with my spiritual relationship is how real is it? Am I just dropping God's name to make myself look better? I have spent a lot of time pondering this and I've decided that I'm not a poser. I don't drop God's name. I've solidified this by looking at my life. "Two Hands" by Jars of Clay, made me analyze what I do to contribute to my relationship with God. (I am by no means perfect. Just last week, I procrastinated and put my entire Sunday school lesson off until Saturday night. It isn't anything I'm proud of, but I want to stress that I'm not trying to put myself on a pedestal by highlighting my successes. I have just as many failures). With that said, I know my relationship with God is real because I seek it out. I don't keep his name as a reference in my back pocket. I talk to him daily. He is a part of my every-day life. I commute to work, usually a 30-45 minute drive. Most everyone I know feels sorry for me because I have to make that drive, but it is my personal time with God. I set the radio to my favorite Christian radio station, and pour my praise out. 

I do wish I did more for others. God calls us to the great commission, but we should also look at Jesus as an example of how we should live. In every way, Jesus lived his life to serve. I am not happy to admit that I do not serve my fellow men a lot. However, looking at my life, I have realized there is so much I could do. I used to use the excuse that I didn't have the money to do anything for others, but why does help need to require money? I could help a little old lady carry her groceries out. I could help a child reach that button just out of reach. God doesn't say to buy love or help. He says to give it freely, and that doesn't require money.

John 12:26 says, "If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honor." Be close to God, not just another in the masses. Find a way to make a difference in the lives of those around you. It doesn't have to be life-changing, just be sincere.

Lord, thank you for loving us and serving all of our needs. Let us be a loving light to the world, as we try to serve the needs of your children. Give us wisdom and your love as we strive to do your will. Amen.

Getting Through it

I want to tell you about a few things that have made the last few weeks hard.

- My dog, Jade, got run over last Tuesday.

- I owe $1,500 for my last two classes - in 9 days.

- I've recently taken a pay cut.

- My son is going through separation anxiety - which in turn makes my day stressful.

Now, I want to tell you why it doesn't matter.

- God has given me the promise of eternal, perfect life with no trouble or pain.

That is all I need. This life can try my strength and endurance, but God has promised everlasting life to me! Trivial inconveniences and sad events can't bring me down when I visualize myself walking streets of gold with Jesus.

Satan who? Demons what? They can't stand up to my God. They can't take away what God has given to me. See, my God said He would always be there for me, and He has held true to that.

My dog was like my first child. She was my baby girl. She kept me company when I was pregnant, and she always could make me feel better any time I was sad. I thought I'd be distraught, but every time I'd start to lose my cool, God would blanket me with peace and love. David said it best in Psalm 21:13, "... so will we sing and praise thy power." How can I not give God all the praise when he brought me through such a tough time? Psalm 23:4 says, " Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and staff they comfort me."

I understand how people can be overwhelmed with life's situations if they aren't trusting in God's promise. It is easy to find situations stressful when you are trying to do everything on your own. That is why I encourage you to give it all to God. Acts 16:31 says, "Believe on the Lord, Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved." Instead of trusting you can do it all yourself, give the load to God. He will willingly take it so that you can have peace. God will take on anything. What he wants is to give you the gift of eternal life. Trust in him.

God, thank you for always taking care of me. Thank you for loving me and sending Jesus to die for me. I can't imagine giving my son for others. I can't imagine what a sacrifice that was. Lord, you are my greatest comfort and I know I can do anything when you are on my side. Lord, help me be a bright light for you. Help me show those around me how awesome your gift is, and how much hope you offer with your saving grace. I love you, God. Amen.

Sources of Help

It takes my son 10 seconds to walk out of our front door. There is a two-inch step down that separates him from the porch, and he is usually apprehensive of that step. Most days he holds out his hand to me and calls for me to hold his hand. Then it only takes two seconds. Other days he sees me close by and he will crawl on his hands and knees down the step. That is when it takes him a little longer.

My point is each day he goes through the door is a learning experience. Some days he falls out the door and learns that he needs to take his time. Other days he learns that he can do it on his own. Sometimes he learns that he needs a helping hand.

Our relationship with God is very similar to this. Some days we think we have it all figured out and we take off in a dead run, just to trip over our own plans. Other days we know we need Him and we call out to him for help. Sometimes we know he is near and we make the slow and steady choices that he would be pleasing to him.

God had given us the gift of free will. He lets us make our own choices and we must deal with the consequences – good and bad. While this may seem cruel, it really is freeing. I watch my son every time he takes a step out the door. I let him make his decision of how to make it out, ready to help, comfort or congratulate him as the situation requires. It brings me joy to see him want me there, and I know it brings him comfort and happiness to know that I am always there no matter what decision he makes.

Psalm 48:14 says, “for this is God, Our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death.” What I like to focus on is that He will be our guide. All we have to do is follow the path that he sets forth. He will always be there showing us the way and watching our steps. It is our choice to make, but he will be there to help us make it.

Lord, thank you for showing us your path. The perfect path. Lord, we may not always choose the right path that you set, but we want to. Forgive us for straying and keep our pride from coming between our relationship. I want to have a close walk with you, Lord. I take comfort in knowing that you will catch me if I fall down. I smile knowing that you love me enough to let me make my own decisions. I choose you.